Big Bacon Comes out Swinging
Who even knew there was such a thing as big bacon?
Consider the European company Danish - their logo is their name styled to look like a piece of bacon and they just published a press release entitled,
"Science in a sandwich: boffins create 'the perfect bacon buttie' formula"
Now for those of us who aren't living across the pond and don't know what they heck a "bacon buttie" is, it's a white bread bacon sandwich and apparently the brits can't get enough of them.
Danish paid 4 "scientists" in Leeds to come up with a "formula" to create the perfect bacon buttie. According to the press release, they spent over 1,000 hours testing 700 different variations.
Here's the formula they deemed reflects buttie perfection:
N = C + {fb(cm)*fb(tc)} + fb(Ts)+ fc*ta
Where,
N = force in Newtons required to break the cooked bacon
fb = function of the bacon type
fc = function of the condiment / filling effect
Ts = serving temperature
tc = cooking time
ta = time or duration of application of condiment / filling
cm = cooking method
C = Newtons required to break uncooked bacon
I have to just quote from the press release, because it's just too weird for me to paraphrase,
"The research revealed that, ideally, the ‘crunching’ sound made when you tuck in to those crispy rashers should measure 0.5 decibels when eaten, and they should break when 0.4 Newtons of force is applied through chewing.
The butties were tested using a high-tech computer that measures food texture, while taste panels consisting of 50 eager volunteers judged the butties for taste, texture and flavour. Further consumer group research by Danish Bacon confirmed that the formula is a clear favourite with bacon fans – over 60 per cent gave the bacon butties prepared using the new equation the ‘thumbs up’."
But the best part of this incredible waste of 1,000 hours of time comes from the same press release's "recipe" to make your perfect bacon buttie at home. Their "step-by-step guide to the perfect bacon buttie" has a grand total of six steps:
Cut two slices of white farmhouse bread (one to two centimetres thick)
Take two or three (or more!) rashers of Danish back bacon (smoked or unsmoked – whichever is your preference)
Place under preheated oven grill for approximately seven minutes on high (preferably 240 degrees)
Turn once during cooking
Add sauce to taste
Eat and enjoy!
Or to summarize, get white bread, buy our brand of bacon, cook it and eat it.
You've got to hand it to Big Bacon though, this thing hit the New York Times.